Funny thing, I finally post my examination the Origins of
this Blog, A Recovering Ubergeek. I
realized I was not done. I realized
another meaning to this title. I am
recovering from an abusive situation and I am an Ubergeek. This meaning was implied in the last article
on the subject. I felt though it needed
to be obvious. This post will be fairly
short. I am a survivor of abuse and this
most recent period, a fourteen year relationship, was worst in my
experience. At the time I was unable to
truly see it for what it was. I was too
close to the situation. I allowed
someone to make me responsible for everything in both our lives without any
real decision making power. I gave up
too much of what made me who I was. That
has led to where I am I now; trying to figure out who I am and who I want to
be. The overwhelming problem is not what
can’t I do but deciding from the infinite possibilities. The funny thing is that this is in many ways
a wonderful problem to have.
In the Future, I am going to be more about self
interest. That does not mean I am
putting myself above others in a negative way.
It means I will not subsume my necessities to the point I have in the
past. I will not give up my necessities
or parts of myself to please others. I
will surround myself with people who would never ask for that. I will do better about boundaries my own and
others. I will let things happen in
their own time not my own. No rushing
any relationship, be it a friendship or an intimate relationship. People will need to accept the whole me,
including that dorky nerdy Ubergeek part of myself; especially that part of
me. If people are not interested in
getting to know me, I will let it go. If
it is meant to happen it will happen.
Forcing things never works. What
I left is proof of that. I also need to
remember sometimes the destination is not always the most important thing. Sometimes the Journey itself is
everything. Well That Is My Not So
Humble Opinion.
No comments:
Post a Comment